I'M BACK!

#1446

Hello everyone.
It's been 21 days without a proper update and I believe everyone knows the reason why. I was busy with my project and school was really stressful. From the last time I updated, it was the first week of school since holiday, obviously I was having honeymoon. However, these three weeks were kind of like hell to me that totally affected my "health". Yea, health.

(In the meantime, I'm checking my tweets to refresh what I've been doing for those 3 weeks..)

First thing first, I've to congrats myself for owning an iphone.
(Did I even mention this before?)
Parents finally decided to buy for me and I said goodbye to my lovable red flip phone.
Till now, I kind of miss the time that I spent flipping the phone when I was bored.
Totally not used having iphone because it's heavier than my lolipop.
But everything else is the same because I used to own an iTouch.

Yup, moving on.

2 July
Saw Yuk in the morning while I was travelling to school and she gave me a shocked by popping out from the back. While I was in school, classmates are spreading this rumour that Sokna(lecturer) has a thing for Ricky (lecturer), don't know if it's true. Was announced that there's this trip to Seoul Korea during September holidays for 1900 (but now reduced to 1500) with 8 seats remaining. Obviously I wanted to go, and so were my friends. So that day... We took the forms and planned to sign up but due to some issues some of my friends ain't going, leaving 4 of us going including me. It's been a long time that I was pissed at my fujitsu because of serial key problem with adobe and autocad. Because SP has new version for autocad therefore mine (outdated) one cannot be used. How stupid is that? And technicians in SP are taking forever, partly because they're student volunteers, poor thing.

3July
Because on 2July, I was thinking bout` whether or not to go Korea, I was too happy bout` it. To the extent that I even imagined myself being there having problems of ordering food, thanks to my brain.

4July
It was a Wednesday therefore I didn't had school. So obviously I was staying home, doing my homework, no, project. I always believe, listening to music helps to aid "feeling" to my drawings and also make me work faster, no? Then at night, I was quite devastated when I found out some "facts", well people always say bullshit things in the end they forgot all those and continue to "give in".

5 July
Because of the Korea trip, it took me great efforts to persuade my classmates. Because I'm the youngest in my group I had a hard time persuading those older ones. In the end, when my friend and I, also the 94's couldn't mange the older ones.. I "begged" my grandma for help and in the end, she's much better than the 94's, so.. 4 of us were going, yay! Because Ricky (lecturer) is new to us, slowly slowly, we're climbing over him, yes we've the basic respect for him then again we always joke around like he's our brother. Well, he's 29, better than the rest, who were like 35 and above, smaller generation gap. (Twitter says that I'm frustrated over project which I forgot why), perhaps project was killing me with its workload and I couldn't handle it, yes I really couldn't.

6 July
The day that I learned that nobody cares which seems quite true. People will always care for themselves first then their family then .. perhaps their friends, well. Somehow, 6 July isn't smooth for us (Hwee, Yuk, Lili and me) and I forgot the reason why. I was really emotional that day, to the extent that I felt like crying just over school. Yes, someone offered help and I rejected harshly, I regretted.

7 July
I don't even get a rest during Saturday, all because of my project, there's just too much to be done. When an architect is doing work, the best thing you can do is don't disturb and just put some food within his reach so that he can work and eat at the same time. Honestly, we don't spend time at dining table when we're busy, we always have meals at working table with lots of pencils, papers and eraser dust. Then I realized, I forgot to text a person back for two days when initially I told the person that I'll text him later. I think I'm really crazy and the person was really waiting for me to text back, oh guilty. I realized that, my hair is still continuing to drop, perhaps I'm too stress all because of my project. Seems like in my life, there's just project and nothing else.

8July
Because submission's close, I don't even get to rest on Sunday. I was colouring with markers like I'm applying concealer on the paper to the extent that it hurts my wrist even I move an inch. Well, there's just too much things to be done and my health is seriously affected. Not eating right, not resting well. Good things won't last long and the whole thing lasted only three days. Yes, attention do get expire too, I was naive that I didn't realized that.

9 July
Again, it's Monday's blues. Saw Wanyi on bus 190 in the morning while going to school, I do get to see her quite often since we go to school at around the same time. I tend to look at the window whenever I'm on bus, rather than staring at blank space. I realized, things ain't as perfect as they look, especially when I'm older now, I looked at things differently and things really ain't that good. I've been having this problem since I've iphone, the connection always suck whenever I'm in train or is it that I don't have the patience to wait? Since it's Monday, it's my computer lesson, was doing autocad the whole morning without a rest and I was going crazy with all those short cut keys and kept trimming/extend/hatch the stupid drawing. Though, it's easier compared to drawing with hand but still it's confusing and it requires lots of brain energy. Ever since my project start, I don't really have time for food and those few days that I only get to eat bread, I felt awful and guilty towards my stomach. Literally, having a mental breakdown.

10 July
It's been a long time since I plugged in my ear piece when I'm on train/busy. The reason for not listening to music while travelling is because I don't have hands for my phone and the wire is an eyesore when I've to carry other things with me. It's another day where I'm not behaving like myself, I swear. Also, another day of doing autocad. When I was still a noob, I was really envy those that can do well but now when I'm better at it, I'm starting to regret for putting effort in learning. Once you know autocad, it's automatically that you should help your friends with it even those small problems. Yes, when I was a noob, I can't even solve a small problem and I had to ask my friend, now my other friend asked me the same problem, I was like, "it's so easy and why you so stupid?". Believe me, it's human instinct. Helped my friends, those who ain't good at it to do a bit while they try and learn. I see no point in helping them to do all because they will never learn and you'll still have to help them the same thing for second time. When I was home, I received a good news and that was ... my bursary came! And I went down to CC with my Dad to collect money, somehow my Dad was shocked that the cheque wrote $1800, well.

11 July
This project really wants my life, no joke. These days, I'm helping people like I'm some sort of lecturer since I'm pro at autocad. It's so annoying when people came and ask how to do this and that or why this cannot, now I know how my friend felt when I asked her lots of stupid questions before I was a pro. I was so annoyed/irritated to the extent that, I was going to drag the person to hell if he/she came and ask me for help. Even I have to go school on Wednesday to get things done when I don't need to, that morning it was so quiet that I can rest my mind and do my work. Until, more people came and I felt like dying because the studio got more noisy and people are coming asking for help. I was helping others when I didn't even finish my work to the extent that, my friend said "ni zhong yu she de hui lai le ah?" when I went back to my place after helping.

12July
When sleep is the only heaven you'll be, it seems like a few hours only. You've no choice but to return hell for long hours of labour. Was rushing a few drawings and scanning in the morning because there's a field trip to Garden Festival @ Suntec Convention Hall in the afternoon. Took us quite long before we reach Suntec, my friend said it was quite cold but not really (to me). So what's Garden festival? It's a once in a two years event where designers have their gardens displayed for public, it's not a very big garden though, just a small space to display their work and it's also a kind of competition where they can win awards. Some of the pictures below were taken @ Suntec.

A sculpture made of wire (if I'm not wrong), showing a couple in a garden well... hugging each other?

A kind of decoration with flowers and balloons, pardon me for forgetting the concept. 

Rotten apple like bench and table, it's creative isn't it? But public cannot enter and sit ..

Prettiest wedding dress I ever seen, designed by someone from Aussie. 

Can you imagine a massive tree hanging in the air? 

Didn't spent a lot of time there because we wanted to rush home and continue our project. When I reached home, I was trying to do photoshop (totally want to die) but I didn't manage to complete much. 

13 July

By now, it's closer to submission and I'm even more busy. I overwork, not having enough sleep and my pimples are popping out one by one. After conquering autocad like a boss, my next challenge is photoshop. Because the short cut keys for each software is different I tend to .. use those for autocad in photoshop and I panic when I don't see any changes. Then I realized, I'm at photoshop, using the wrong command, I felt so stupid. Somehow managed to meet Cheryl, Lili, Yuk and Wanyi @ Lot1 after school, been a long time since I saw them. By the time I was home, I was rushing my photoshop because I want to print it the next day (14July), again I slept late and I wasn't satisfied with my photoshop. It's not that my skills are bad, it's because I don't have a lot of time to make it perfect/better. 

14 July

Intended to wake up early and continue my photoshop (actually I finished the night before) and went Bugis to get it print. Last minute, decided to do a model, and worse... It was raining at Bugis, so I walked a long way to the printing shop under the rain, and walked to the Art friend, also a long way under the rain. Actually, I was stuck at the National Library because the rain was too heavy, well I decided to chiong since I don't have a lot of time. Being at art friend, you wouldn't know how much time has passed, later met Lili and Yuk at Bugis kopitiam for lunch. Went around the street and the malls, bought one dress which was extremely short. Got home, showered and was doing my project again, this time round I slept at around 2:30 because of my stupid model. Well, my model is like shit, always. 

15 July

Woke up early and had my breakfast before I start to do my powerpoint for presentation. This time, it took me a shorter time to finish the slides, I must be really good at computer. I spent around 7hours to get those slides done and spent around 2hours to get my journal done. In the end, I was able to catch a few variety shows before I sleep. 

16 July

It's submission day and also presentation for some of the people. Because it's the first verbal presentation in year2, people are being extra cautious. Somehow, I don't like the comments the lecturers gave, it seems like half-hearted to me. Maybe because they didn't go through all the slides and tell you the problems unlike during year1. Skipped afternoon lesson and went home instead because we were extremely tired after rushing like mad for submission. 

17 July

It's time for my presentation. I looked at myself with the dress I bought at Bugis, I looked extremely weird. Since the dress is so short, I was being extra careful. Something always happens whenever I've presentation, I was unable to get on bus therefore I was going to be late. In the end, I went back home to get more cash and called a cab. But I didn't managed to hop on the cab that was I called, because it wasn't there. Got on another cab and still reached school early, kind of like wasted $16 on cab fare. The order of presentation was based on the lecturers, they call people randomly. For me, I was called when the one before me ended while others were called while the ones before them were still presenting. Yes, I was caught my surprise therefore I didn't do well. I was too nervous and I kept "moving around", well that was embarrassing. 

18 July

It's Wednesday, no school for me! Kind of like being quite happy bout` it because I finally get to sleep as long as I like. 

19 July

Last day for presentation, listening to presentation is a torture. In the later part of the day, when consultation opened for the next phase of project, eyesore was consulting like madness. "Is there a need to get a head start?" Went to ADRC room to look at some samples of work and then I met the God of death. There's this ah neh fixing the ceiling air-con and this rusting, metal tool dropped down from above, just behind me and landed on floor with a loud "piang". Yes, I was close to death and I escaped it. That night, I somehow dropped my phone and I thought I heard that loud "piang" of the metal. Yes, goodluck to me. 

20 July

Nothing much bout` school, well. But, God of Death came to find me again. Do you know that there's this "newest bus" that's for wheelchair people, and there's this stairs that you can go up then walk all the way to the rear? Yes, I almost fell on that area. If I really did fell, I think I'll knock on the stairs and "roll down". So scary huh and I almost tripped over the wire on the floor, at my home. 

Today

It's Saturday and I'm enjoying my freedom before I get busy again with my project. Although I just submitted my work but the next phase has started and I'll be busy starting from next week. I think I spent around 2hours to just update. Well............ At least I made an effort to mention what I've been doing. 

I think I'll be going MIA again, I'm really busy. 

But I'll try to find time and update. 

Goodluck to myself.  

God of death, did you came to me and made my vision black this afternoon? 

No joke, my head was spinning while I was trying to stand. 

And everything went black, things are turning around. 

I need to rest enough before I get busy. 

I've a feeling my body won't be able to make it anymore. 

Nobody knows, I'm not as strong as I used to be. 

Amen.