It was so awful that I went insane.
Whenever people are upset..
You just can't control and cry. Yet "happy flashbacks" that you once shared with somebody else always go to your brain. Somehow, it's so much easier to remember them at that moment. Every time you fell, you told yourself not to repeat the same mistake again. But humans are fools, they have heart. So they fall for the same reason all over again. That somebody is the reason you're hurt.
An apology may work in most situations.
But definitely, not when you're hurt.
What you want isn't an apology but something else.
That something else are things that you can't have it again, no matter what price you pay.
People leave for good but there are people who are very sentimental. They just can't forget everything that happened before and they'll always pretend that they did. You think pretending is easy, but when that spoiler mention a work bout` it, you'll just go insane.
You think letting go easy? But do you realize that you end up holding on even more?
Letting go and holding on at the same time, ain't you tired?
There's no wound, others can't see that you're in pain. You may have heard of "time will heal everything". Thinking that it doesn't work at all, maybe the time is not right yet.
I wish, I don't have a heart. So that I won't be in pain anymore.
Worst still, when the old wound isn't fully healed yet the new one comes.
How am I going to bear this pain?
Yea, "time will heal everything".
******
It's Mama's day!
But I don't have the habit of giving my Mama a present.
Except her birthday.
Spend the morning watching one piece.
Afternoon watching some war drama.
Caught a nap to recharge myself.
I realize there's a dot on my face, a black one. I think it's not going to "drop".
It's worse than having a pimple on my face.
Because I was trying out mascara, I accidentally got it in my eye.
Yet I can't remove it, I don't know how.
Tried and tried and it's not going to drop.
A black dot on my face, grey marks on my eyeball.
Worst feeling ever, thinking that it won't be gone.
Monday again.
I'm singing my blues.
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