Pre-Graduation

#1496

Looking back at the last three years.... Other than growing older, I think I'm more matured somehow.

Now that I've finished the last semester, I've been getting questions like 'have you graduated?' But the problem is that, I've not gone through my graduation ceremony. What comes next is 'how was your final project and what you want to do in future?' I don't even want to think bout` it, just recalling it made me cringed. Who will have a blessed and smooth final year project, I guess there isn't anyone. As to what I want to do in future.... honestly I didn't give more thoughts to it that I kind of just decide on impulse.

Let's say this post is some reflection on my final project/final semester.
All I can say is that, it wasn't easy for me to overcome, likewise for my classmates who went through the same thing as me. I could still remember that I actually broke down 3 days before the final submission that I went to cry in front of my mum and kept saying 'I couldn't do this'. But after that, everything gone better, I guess it was just relieving of stress that was built up over weeks and that I give myself a very high expectation. Yet, crying out was so much better than trying to tolerate it. Til now, I don't know how I overcame it when I barely had enough sleep to keep me awake for an entire day. It just seems that I was awake for more than 20 hours to finish whatever I'm supposed to. Or sometimes, I don't even sleep.

I remember telling myself that, at that point... 'after I endured all these shit, I'll be wondering how I made it.'
Which is totally so true, here I am wondering how.

Now that graduation show is about to start in a few days, reality strikes.
I'm approaching 20.
I've more responsibilities now.
These are all too scary.

******

Application for Universities were mostly done without much thought actually.
Because I was still rushing for projects while settling the application, it makes it harder for me to really think what course I should take. Nevertheless, the first choice will always be architecture, there's nothing else I can do actually. Next come with some business course that I asked my cousins bout`. Then I applied for scholarships hastily.

Everything was kind of .. done by impulse.
Think I'll regret in some point of time.

No, I don't know.

A.