Suicidal note

#1508

Tell me how does a suicidal note looks like.

Nonetheless, I felt nothing towards living for another day unlike those who wants to. I may be foolish to be even thinking about suicidal, but the truth is, I'm afraid to die, It wasn't just a day or two that the thought has been continuing, it just felt like I've done nothing to deserve this kind of treatment. I hold nothing against the whole world, but my beloved universe turns entirely against me. Things never felt so real before, but once it happened, it's too overwhelming to accept all these. I certainly am at my limit.

Sometimes, a casual remark turns to be an important promise.
I hate people who broke that.
They've been testing me with all of it, breaking me apart again and again. To what have I deserve this?

There's people, who just need to reach out your hand, then free help comes.
To what did they deserve that?
There's always a scapegoat no matter where you are.
To what do I deserve to be one?
To think you've your limits and I don't have mine.
Times I chose to be quiet is because there's no point in exchanging verbal blows.

I count the number of lines I have. 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 10.. 13.. 16.. 20.. 21.. 22.
Out of the 22 lines, which one did it hurt the most? Have you thought of how painful each one was. But with all the judgmental issues, it's all wrong and unforgiving. But what else would I have done instead? Maybe things are simpler when I'm dead, I don't mind at least a 60%.

At the end of the day..
No one understands my pain.
No one understands my worries.
No one understands my actions.
No one understands my past.
No one understands my value.
Then why am I still alive?
For who am I living for?
For who am I breathing for?
For who am I beating for?
No one.

I have no one else.